Former Miss Nepal apologizes

Former Miss Nepal apologizes

Namaste. I would like to publicly apologize for my action or lack thereof related to the sexual violence survivor who has bravely shared her story on social media. I would also want to share my side of the story trying my best to not make it about myself because it is not. It is about justice for the survivor and me acknowledging my role in it, but I hope

photo from https://www.instagram.com/p/CYNgjfEqYZA/

you take the time to read what I have to share. To the survivor (I am keeping this short since you mentioned my action

s trigger you so I am trying to be as respectful to you as I can. I am extremely sorry. No excuses. I don’t remember the details clearly, but I do remember you calling me and trying to talk about the abuser and I also remember me choosing not to support you when you needed me to. That is unforgiveable and I do not expect you to forgive me. But I wish for you to know that I am deeply sorry for not actively listening to you, for not believing you, and for not supporting you. You have every right to be angry with me and I deserve all the hate that I am getting because I truly failed you. I totally admit that by not supporting you then I have contributed to the injustice you have suffered.

While being in a power position comes with so much responsibility, we are also not always in the right mental space to help someone in need. Sometimes we are unable to help someone put on their oxygen masks because we haven’t put it on ourselves. I am only sad that your involvement in the case is taking away the spotlight from those that we need to condemn right now: the abusers! Didi, thank you for owning up to your limitations.
While all the media and people are angry with Malvika Subba for admitting her mistake by apologizing, let’s not forget the main culprit Manoj Pandit, etc and the main problem (polluted work environment). In the end, I made a trivial excuse that “woman is the enemy of woman” and blamed another woman and gave clean chit to the terrorists.
We all learn and unlearn lot of things in our life and we all are human and we do make mistakes but you’ve sincerely apologized for things that has happened. I hope people would direct this incident to the culprit and make him realize about his horrendous act than blame-shifting.
To err is human and to own it up and to ask for forgiveness take an enormous courage and is way forward to become a better human. You have made an integral impact in countless lives. Unfortunately we as humans take no time to bash somebody else to their soul. Social media is the place we have become least social. I hope the victim finds strength to gradually heal and power to always be vocal., I hope the perpetrators are brought to book. Don’t beat up yourself. You have changed numerous lives for good. We learn, we grow, we move on. 
Yes! As you mentioned there could have had been better response at that time from your part, but aren’t we all human being after all, are we Gods to be perfect all the time? We make mistakes, learn and move fwd and live our lives. But it also takes courage to accept your own mistakes and thank you for being honest.
The focus must be on the sexual predators who were involved in her case. I am glad that you held yourself accountable, to everyone, let’s not deviate from the main structural issue here now, the issue is about how structural patriarchy puts those who identify as women and LGBTIQAP+ individuals into vulnerable situations where the culprits take advantage of them. The irony is that the marginalised individuals are silenced and the perpetrators walk with confidence and entitlement. The victim blaming culture propagated from internalised misogyny is detrimental for the society as it contributes to shaming the victim which aggravates their mental health and traumatic experiences. Rather, the shift must be on the perpetrators who do such heinous acts. Society must shift that narrative to call out the culprits, law enforcement must imprison them and the court must provide justice to the survivors!

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